Why isn’t the American church a place of deep, profound love?

John 13:35 says, “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (ESV). The church should be known for the love of believers.

And yet, in 2022, a survey found that about half of “non-religious” people consider American Christians to be “self-righteous”, 55 percent consider us “hypocritical”, and 54 percent consider us “judgmental”. I would define someone who is self-righteous, hypocritical, or judgmental as actively loving themselves more than they love their neighbor, which is the opposite of what we are commanded to do in Matthew 22:39.

So where did we go wrong? In Acts 2:42, one of the earliest descriptions we have of the church, says “They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.” Most churches today follow a model of weekly services centered around the apostle’s teaching and prayer, and many break bread together in communion. But when was the last time you ate a full meal with people from your church? Based on Acts 2:46, which says that believers, “broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts.” I would argue that this was  not only discussing the practice of communion, but also the sharing of other meals (Faithlife Study Bible). After all, in Matthew 26:26–29, when Jesus introduces communion, he does so in the context of a meal.

I believe we are missing a strong bond of loving fellowship in the body of Christ because we no longer share meals. I would argue that the church in Acts grew and spread so quickly because they were known for love, and that love was built on meals shared together.

In Romans 12:13, Christians are also commanded to “Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.”  Because ancient hospitality was specifically oriented around assisting travelers, it included offering provisions for the continuation of their journey. (Lexham Theological Wordbook). According to the Life Application New Testament Commentary, this passage could also be translated as “earnestly pursue” sharing meals and lodging, which was a part of early church culture (Hebrews 13:2, 1 Peter 4:9). This could also be understood as honoring Jesus’ call to meet the needs of the hungry and thirsty (Matthew 25:35).

Clearly, eating together was a regular rhythm of life in the Early Church, and I would like to suggest that it should be a habitual part of life in churches today. I get lunch with a group of young people from my church every Sunday after service. I have found deeper fellowship, accountability, and love in these meals than in “big church” services. I even met my boyfriend during one of these lunches. Try eating meals with your brothers and sisters in Christ regularly. You won’t regret it.