Loving others when you’re not always loved back is hard. It’s unfair. It’s painful. And it can be terrifying. I’m lucky that I haven’t been hurt by those I love as many other people I know. But I know a basic human principle: when something hurts, you tend to shy away from it in the future.

I played fastpitch softball growing up. Especially when I was younger, pitchers tended to hit us fairly often. When I would get hit by a pitch and get a big, painful bruise, I would hit poorly for a while. I hit so badly because I would step out of the batters box before I could even tell if the pitch would hit me, or if it was good enough for me to hit it. I had to train my brain to care more about the opportunity to get a hit than the potential for pain.

               Just like hitting, love can hurt, but the reward of a deeply connected relationship is worth the potential for pain. And ultimately, I believe we’re not showing others love because we expect love in return, but because we’ve already been radically loved by Jesus.

1 John 4:18-21 says,  “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us. Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.” The statement that love “drives out fear” was a strong impression, also meaning “turneth out of doors.” Fear is cast out of the fellowship of love (Word Studies in the New Testament). Christ delivers us from the bondage of fear through his death (Commentary Critical).

Loving without fear is easier said than done. But the Lord doesn’t ask us to do so because he expects us to allow ourselves to be hurt repeatedly. He does so because we can let go of fear and trust the Lord to comfort and heal us. And no one understands being hurt by those you love more than Jesus. He gave his life to bring salvation to people, and they rejected and killed him. Still, he asked the Lord to forgive them while they were actively killing him (Luke 23).

And God doesn’t allow people who hurt the innocent to get away with it. God doesn’t ask his people to let evil continue unchecked. He simply promises to check it himself. Romans 12: 14-19: “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath.” God loves his people and will defend them. Avoiding grudges and revenge allows the peace of Christ to be shown as much as possible in an imperfect world (Life Application Commentary).

We as Christians should remove ourselves from unsafe situations, and train ourselves to love fiercely again, trusting that God will not let evil go unpunished.